Shine

A prayer for marriage:

Lord, give me a husband I can be Jesus to. 

I will always fall short, but that's what I want to see shining forth. Shine. That was the word you gave me. And I don't want that to be the shine of my gifts or character or attractiveness or any other allure; I want the shine of You in me. The shine that happens when I'm living in You. That includes all those other things, gifts from You, but makes their vibrancy come from Your presence in them and not only Your gifting of them. I want to put Your glory on display, and that's what I want my husband to see. Earnestly, that is my desire. It's not bad for physical attraction to grab his attention or for playful banter or good conversation to captivate him, but when he really sees me, when he gets to know me, when he wants to pursue me, I want it to be because he sees You in me. Because my life is surrendered to You, and You are on display with practical strangers and with the most intimate of relationships. 

And even in the affirmation of that, protect me from pride. Protect me from bolstering myself up in affirmations, taking them for my glory instead of Yours. May every affirmation lead me to rejoicing in Your kindness to me in making me a woman after Your heart. It is only through Your grace, Lord. Keep me humbly in Your will and in Your service. I don't want to look great without You because all I am is in You. I need You, Lord. I have nothing without You. No gifts to offer the world. All I have is You, Lord, and that's everything. 

Let that be the drive of a man’s heart for me. Let him be drawn to You in me. Let it be all for You. It's a lofty idea, Lord, but You grant big prayers. It's not how dating works, but I have an infinite Father, and I can ask for the biggest gift I can think of because He loves me and longs to meet my desires, not as a genie but as a protector and provider who knows how to recognize good desires whether they are big or small. Put Yourself on display in me and in my life, Lord. 

I once prayed for a man who would not only be godly but who would look like Jesus to me, and I want to be that for him. Not in an idealistic, faultless, false perception kind of way but in the earnest way we can all display You. I want to be like You. 

And I pray that as we grow, we would be Jesus to each other. 

That's really the core of what marriage is supposed to be. The dance of the Trinity. Two people shadowing the covenant we could never uphold but that is always safe in Your hands. Two people taking on Your character and displaying it to each other. Sacrificial (and submitted) leadership, humble, helpful, and empowering submission and service, mutual respect, unending love. 

Father, Spirit, Son. Different roles; equal respect. You, oh God, respect Jesus and the Holy Spirit even in their submission to You. And I pray that my husband and I will live in the freedom of that equality. That we would respect each other. That we would hold up the other's giftings. That we would embolden each other in our covenant life. That we would root for each other deeply from within and protect each other sooner than we would protect ourselves. 

Lord, I pray for myself as a wife. I pray for the grace of humility. I pray for the empowerment of Your spirit to love sacrificially and die to self. I pray for insight into my husband and the ability to encourage him spiritually in deep ways and to help direct him towards You. And I pray that even that direction would be the encouragement of a loved one lifting him up and never feel like a complaint or like who he is isn't good enough. And I pray again for the humility that kills even that potential temptation towards judgement with a sense of being right, being superior, or him falling short. Lord, even when I need to hold him to a higher standard, I pray that I will not make him feel small. That I will not make him feel like he is falling short. 

And I pray for protection from any lie of the devil that makes me feel like he is. Like I should've married a better man. Or like I could lead us better. Or like he is unworthy. We are all unworthy, Lord, but You give spouses the ability to speak life over each other. I pray that I will consistently speak life over his leadership, his provision, his intentionality. I pray that I will willingly and easily give affirmation and not seek to have him earn them but will speak in earnest affirmation of his character and Your kindness in giving him to me. I pray that You would use my giftings in his life in powerful ways to uplift him and the work You have for him. 

And I pray the reverse for him. That You will embolden him to lift me up and encourage my gifts and character. That You will protect him from the devil of pride. That You will give him the submitted heart that leads from Your love. And that You will work for our joint sanctification and intimacy with You.

Give us a shared vision for the future. Two people come together with different perspectives and may disagree on the particulars, but, Lord, make us of one heart. I pray that You would bless our ministry together and help us to bless each other. That You would lead us each in formal ministry (like at church and volunteering), whether or not it's together, and in the ministry of how we lead our lives and our family. I pray that You would bless us to spread Your Word and Your love in our community. I pray for our devotional time that we would find each other in the place of prayer. That we would spend the early part of our marriage cultivating patterns of spiritual depth with each other and that we would learn to adapt it when we have kids. I pray for grounding in our personal devotional time and for wisdom in displaying it to our children. 

I pray that we would speak life over our family and our community. I pray that You would shine through. I pray for Your wisdom, Your protection, and Your delight in raising our kids. I pray that we would draw into each other and pour out Your overflow over the lives You give us to steward. I pray that our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren would know Your love and not depart from it but accept Your free gift of salvation. And I pray for intercessors to rise up in our family line to pray over the salvation of their children and grandchildren to come. And I pray for prayer, Lord. That we would have a legacy of prayer and that it will be grounded in the Word. 

I pray for a man of the Word. I pray for a man who is grounded in it and moved by it. A man who is formed and transformed. A man who is shaped by Your commands and by the inexhaustible love that flows through each one. I pray that he would know that love, Lord. 

And I pray for compassion. That our marriage would be filled with it for each other and for those around us because of the grace which has been given to us. I pray that we would receive, Lord. Your many blessings. I don't know what our life looks like--I don't even know where You're leading my life right now with all the gifts and desires You are growing and flourishing--but I know it is full of Your blessing. Thank You, Lord. Thank you for the man I get to pray for for the rest of my life. Thank You for the life to come and the life that is. In singleness and in marriage, let us be quick to give You praise and to recognize Your blessings around us. You are good.