Call To Singleness

Admitting the call to be single is hard. Often it can feel like admitting defeat. Even when we trust God with our present, our future, and our contentment in both, it's hard to release the desire for a romantic relationship and marriage to God. If we want marriage, it feels like accepting that we won't ever have it. And even if we believe God will make us content in that, it feels like saying goodbye to the hope and desire for a spouse and a family.

But I am called to singleness.

It took me a long time to admit that because of the different connotations I had surrounding it. It felt too big, and I built up fear around it. Like my entire life would be dedicated to it. I used to ask myself if I could be content if God had singleness for me, but I was still treating a calling to singleness like this thing that would come out of nowhere and erase my desire for marriage, leading me into a new desire. 

But what I've come to understand is that a call to singleness doesn't necessitate something lifelong. A call to singleness is a call to the present. To be present in our current circumstances. 

I am single, and that means that for right now I am called to singleness. I can still desire marriage, I can still believe God has marriage for me, and I can still have crushes and go on dates while living out that call. Because being called to singleness doesn't mean being dedicated to my singleness but rather being dedicated to living out my singleness as a calling. 

Single people have different opportunities than married people. Not better or worse necessarily but different. Single people can mobilize in a way that those with a spouse or a family can't. We don't have to discuss things with others or give our time to them to the same extent; we can take advantage of what is before us. 

So often we treat singleness like a plague. We want to get out of it as quickly as we can. It feels like it's keeping us from the desire for marriage. Like it's an obstacle to overcome. But singleness is a sweet season of preparation. Singleness is an opportunity to grow in our personal relationship with God as well as in our giftings and passions. We do not need to wait for a spouse to be effective in God's Kingdom.

And if we want a spouse and truly believe God will grant that desire, that doesn't embitter us towards our singleness but turns our singleness into a treasure. Because it is a season. It's fleeting. It will end. Once we're married, we can't go back. This is the only time in our lives that we get to take advantage of the opportunities singleness allows. 

But so many of us miss those opportunities because we're trying to find a way out of our singleness. We treat it like a trial season. But although singleness can have trials like any other season, it is not a trial in and of itself. 

We are in a season of transition from God's best to God's best. For all my life singleness has been God's best for me. Even when I haven't wanted it, it has been His gift to me. And one day marriage will be His best for me. I want to live in both of those callings while I have them. Right now singleness is God's best for me, and I want to live in a way that leverages my singleness for the Kingdom and glory of God for as long as I have it.

If you're single today and fear living confidently in your singleness, will you join me in living out that call? It can be scary to step into, but living a full life as a single person does not mean our lives will never have space for a spouse. There's beauty in this season like any other; will you join me in experiencing its fullness?