Wait vs. Tarry

"And He walks with me / And He talks with me / And He tells me I am His own / And the joy we share as we tarry there / None other has ever known" (In The Garden).

In this life I've had many waiting seasons. That's part of being human. And it's been beautiful to see how much God has grown me not only through those seasons but also in my concept of waiting. How He has taught me, amidst all my impatience, to trust that He will fulfill my needs and desires. How that trust has created an urgency for my waiting season, for treasuring what I have now even as I desire circumstances to change, and for appreciating the good and pursuing opportunities. I can even have an overarching happiness that I get to live prior to the fulfillment of my desires. That I get to take hold of what I have now and see how God blesses this season too. My emotions ebb and flow between impatience and frustration or patience and surrender or any number of feelings, but beneath it all, my idea of what it means to wait has been fundamentally changed.

"Wait" and "tarry" are synonyms, but their different connotations is something God used to breathe new life into my waiting seasons. For me, waiting often keeps me focused on my desire. God is in the waiting, present with me, growing me, teaching me to rely on and trust in Him, but all of that comes from my awareness of Him in relation to what I want. Tarrying with God feels more like surrendering what I want, trusting Him to hold it, and being present with Him. And oh, how beautiful it is to tarry with the Lord. To relinquish--not to give up on my desires--to stop worrying about them, and to sit with God in His glory, getting to know Him in and of Himself while also knowing Him as a harbor for and fulfillment of my desires even before I experience that. 

For me, waiting is stopping. Ceasing action. Standing in trust but also in anticipation, which is a good thing. We surrender as we stop moving forward. Tarrying is slightly different. It's stilling. We continue our journey, but our focus changes. We walk forward with God, not in pursuit of our desires but in relationship with Him. We are aware of our desires, but we know that they are safe with Him. We are secure to let them go and move towards Him because we've released them to His timing and power. 

Both mean we give up control. Both lead us to stop our striving. Both make us turn to God's power and develop patience and trust. But tarrying leads us to intimacy. For me, tarrying is the difference between waiting for God and waiting on God. And I want a heart that turns to Him. That gives Him my desires. I want a heart that waits on the Lord.