"It's The Way He Hates You"

Have you ever talked to non-believers who are willing to engage in Christian thoughts and discussions? Who have no interest in God and are upfront in that but who do not mind the mention of Him? Conversely, have you ever talked with non-believers who it seems need to oppose Jesus at any turn? Who cannot bear the mention of God without making their distaste known in some way or who insert small comments even as they try to be a respectful listener?

I had conversations with two such non-believers back to back, and it struck me how different they were. And the question nestled in my mind, why? And why was it the friend I felt so confident God was pursuing and would bring to faith the one who treated Him with such vitriol and closed-offness?

As I thought about this question, the answer that started to take root in my mind was love. 

One friend was open to belief but not convinced of it and not adamant in the search for it. But the one who so resisted was a friend whom I almost felt loved God deep down.

It made me think of a scene from a book series. Two characters are discussing the obvious acidity another character has for the first. 

"I told you he hated me," the first claims.

And this is how the other responds: "It's the way he hates you. It's so . . . familiar. I used to feel like that . . . When I'd watch you kissing him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that . . . He's not seeing you as you really are."

Do you catch this implication? The hatred coming from the one character towards the first is actually influenced by his love for her. But it is a love that has been corrupted by falsehood and deception. He can no longer see the good in her. During the story his love for her was pure, but as he was deceived into believing she was evil, that love could no longer be reconciled to his sense of right and wrong. Hate was the result.

And this is what I've started to see in some of the responses I get to God.

I see people whose heart God has a hold of. Who have a love for God buried deep, but who think that love is wrong because of their understanding of who God is. They see Him as egotistical, as evil, as heartless, as condescending, and they see themselves as good. And as the good people they strive to be, how can they love someone evil? How can they be good if they love that kind of God? 

Because they cannot reconcile that itch of love towards God, they rise up against that inclination, trying to oppose God at every turn. Trying to stand against their love for Him, which they believe is so wrong. That love which feels impossible to reconcile with goodness. But they're not seeing God for who He really is.

I don't know the inner-workings of the hearts around me, but this is what I see in some of those I love. I see this need to resist, and this is how I've come to understand it. Not opposition but resistance. Resistance to a love they cannot reconcile. Resistance to the tension of belief. Resistance to entering back into the story, the chaos of the wrestling, and rediscovering who God is. 

And that's an encouraging thought in a way. Because even though they're resisting, it means God is pursuing them. God has not taken His hands off of them. God wants them in His Kingdom even more than we do. Their resistance is not the end, and just maybe, it's the very thing God will use to make their testimony so great. At least that's what I'm praying for. Because I see the beauty that could be if they meet God as He really is and give into that love for Him. It's easy to get discouraged, but that's a story worth pursuing.

Quote reference/Spoiler:

 

Mockingjay, p.244