Waiting For/On/With

Sometimes revelations on God's character are simple. Sometimes they even come down to a preposition.

Waiting "for," "on," and "with" God are all slightly different ways of waiting, and yet each one is important. They are not levels to rise, elevating from one to the next, from inferior to superior, but they build upon each other and work with each other. All are incomplete on their own.

We need to wait for God because everything comes from Him. Waiting for God acknowledges that we do not have the power. That He is in control. That all good things come from Him.

Waiting on God is a response to waiting for Him. It's a position of humility, of service, of surrender of our wills to His goodness. 

And waiting with God . . . 

In the past God brought me to this realization of intimacy with Him. Of being together, tarrying, enjoying each other, being present. Of having and holding the desire for which I wait, of trusting Him as a safe harbor to hold it, but of keeping my focus on Him. Whereas waiting for God centralized the desire and even waiting on God kept the desire present as I trusted Him to fulfill it, waiting with God gave me the power to let it go. Not to forget it or to stop wanting it but to realize that I'm not the one that needs to hold it. It allowed me to see my desire in His presence, letting it come to the forefront or fade to the background of my mind, instead of entering into His presence through my desire and thus keeping the desire present our whole time. Again, all of these are good, but this idea of waiting, of tarrying, of spending time with God in the midst of my desires was so freeing to my heart. The other ways of waiting increased my dependence and trust, but this one gave me the fruit of those: rest.

But recently, God showed me that my vision for waiting with God is incomplete too. I've believed we are together but not necessarily that we are of one spirit.

But God is in a waiting season too.

The earth cries out, and He longs to restore its glory. He longs to redeem all of His creation to its good design. He longs to reconcile us to Him. And his longing is more real and intense than our deepest ache. But His timing is good, and so He waits, giving us a taste of the glory and goodness and perfect design which will come. Which He aches to give. He aches for us. For complete reconciliation, for complete restoration, for complete redemption, for the fullness of design, for the fullness of glory, for the fullness of eternity. But He waits. 

This is almost inconceivable to us. We wait because we are not in charge and have to surrender to the One who is. But He is in charge. He's only waiting on Himself. And when we have the authority to grant our own desires, we wait for as long as we can if we think there's good reason to, but when the waiting becomes too much, we give in. And that doesn't always have to be a bad thing, but our most intense waiting is always when we do not have the power to grant our desires. When we have no other choice but to wait. That isn't true of God, however. He could end His waiting any time.

But He doesn't. 

God is unhurried and steady. His desire and longing does not change, but He lives in the waiting for it, bringing fullness of life to the present moment even as He does. 

Many times when people see someone waiting well, they assume that their desire was less significant. It is a want and not a drive--how could they wait otherwise?--but there is a difference when we let God drive. God's desire is deeper than we could ever know, and yet He waits.

That means that every time we feel the ache of our desires, they can remind us how God longs for the redeemed world we also crave. That every time we have joy, excitement, eager anticipation over a beautiful vision we desire to hold, that His joy for the vision of glorification is far greater than any joy we could know. 

But this isn't only true of the broad posture of longing, of sharing the kinship and connection of waiting even if for different things, but in the specifics. It's not only for the work of redemption that He waits. 

Realizing that God longs to fulfill my desires was a major breakthrough in my life, which transformed my waiting seasons, but I don't think I ever really painted the picture of what that means. I imagine God wanting my desires to be fulfilled and being happy when they are. I imagine it being God's plan to fulfill those desires. And though both of those are true, I failed to imagine God actually longing for them. Waiting on and aching for my desires to be fulfilled too. 

Instead of only orchestrating it, longing puts God in the story. He's not only writing and reading, enacting and responding, but also actively participating. 

Too often we think of longing in terms of receiving, but the same is true of giving.

There's a difference between parents who will do something for their child and who longs to do it. The child receives the good thing either way, but the parents interact in a different way. When a parent is really excited about a gift for a child, knows and anticipates the joy it will bring, sees and yet can't wait to see how it'll help the child cultivate giftings and abilities and growth, aches for how it will lead to flourishing, the longing is intense and the waiting almost unbearable. 

We see this in small ways as parents wait to give a gift on Christmas or hold onto a surprise, knowing the joy will be greater at the appointed time. There's a joy and anticipation. There can also be an ache, seeing a child disappointed with the timing even while knowing that the wait will be worth it. And whether that child thinks it's unfair or feels unloved or they trust their parent in the timing, the waiting can hurt. Nobody wants to see their child sad. In any context the waiting is hard, and there's no getting around it. 

That's why we are so inclined to give in, but God is not like us. He is strong. He is unhurried, not because the desire isn't pressing on His heart but because He lives from the knowledge that the waiting is worth it. He knows the timing is good. It's so easy for us to rush and to justify doing so because waiting is tense, and it can be difficult to bear. But God is committed. He's after our best, and He won't settle for less even when He's bursting with the desire to grant our desire. He is holding onto that desire and waiting for it with us.

Waiting with God is about the intimacy of presence and quality time. But waiting with God is also about a shared heart, and that's a different kind of intimacy. To be of one spirit and of one heart, to long together in the same way and even for the same outcome. 

We long with Jesus, but He also longs with us.