The Little Mermaid and Intercultural Relationships

I recently watched Disney's live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid and the first VHS I ever owned for myself, and it was a delight to see Halle Bailey take on the role. I could not have been more pleased with her performance as well as her and Jonah Hauer-King's dynamic. The changes from the original were not significant, and yet they made profound changes for me as a viewer. I found myself realizing things I'd never noticed before. Things that were always there, and yet I'd never seen.

Part of the nature of fiction is that its critiques can become almost inseparable from the content itself. Which is why, even though I love this movie, I've always had that whole "she changed her body and left her family and entire world for a boy" commentary on the edge of my mind. But while I was watching the remake, I started seeing more to that old story.

First off, Ariel did not run away from home for a boy. She loved the human world and longed to be a part of it, yes. She was mad crushing on Eric, yes. And when given the opportunity to be human and be with Eric, she took it. But why did she pursue that opportunity in the first place? What made her go from collecting artifacts of the human world or fantasizing about swimming up to Eric's castle to making a deal with a witch for a pair of legs? 

Yep, this scene terrified me as a child and became my well-timed bathroom break for years. But it's also why Ariel agreed to see Ursula. She was vulnerable and in a position to make poor choices, not because of her feelings for Eric but because of her relationship with her father.

And that's why she became human.

But then she was with Eric, and they did fall in love--and yes, it took three days because Disney timetables are ridiculous--and that changed things.

Because this is no longer a story about a girl giving up her entire identity to be with a man (though as stated above, I don't think that's a fair assessment) but about two people realizing they want to spend the rest of their lives together even though they are from different cultures.

And that's a story that is hard and complex and beautiful and happens all the time.

And that's the point I want to make. The Little Mermaid shows, among other stories, the story of an intercultural relationship, and that's not a story deserving of rebuke.

If you're in an intercultural relationship, you pretty much have three choices: live in one of two* home cultures or live somewhere new. Or don't be together.

After the fight with Ursula, Ariel and Eric seemed to default to the latter. Ariel doesn't ask to leave her family again, and yet Triton sees her love for Eric and gives her his blessing for their marriage, knowing the cost.

In the original Ariel moves into her husband's culture. In the remake Ariel still chooses legs over a fin, but the pair set off for the sea, finding an option that is neither and yet both of their homes. An option that the film has established as a shared dream between the couple.

I liked how the remake changed the ending, but I don't think it was necessary to redeem Ariel. Why has she been villainized in the first place? She made bad choices in the beginning (ahem, 16 year old girl and a father with anger issues), but those were a response to her relationship with her father. When Triton and her are in good relationship, the choice is different. She still chooses Eric, and she still sacrifices her life as a mermaid, but that sacrifice is the key. That sacrifice is what shows things are different.

Ariel's not sacrificing anything when she first becomes human. She sees no value in the life she has and wants nothing more than to be away from it. But at the end of the movie, she feels loss. Tears fall. She's leaving her father and her sisters. She's sacrificing the life she had to embark on a new one.

Why is that sacrifice criticized?

Marriage is about sacrifice and compromise. All marriages contain both. Intercultural relationships contain another level.

From the decision on where to live to how to raise a family to all of the little cultural differences that find their way into every day. Intercultural relationships are about choosing someone despite and because of your cultural differences. Embracing the hardship and celebrating the diversity because you love each other.

That's what all marriage is about. Two people from different contexts become something new: one flesh. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Intercultural relationships make what is true of all marriages more obvious because those differences are so clear and foundational.

Instead of criticism, I think Ariel is actually deserving of praise.

It makes sense in the remake that Ariel and Eric forge their own path because that is consistent with their dreams. It also makes sense in the original that Ariel chooses the human world because it is a culture that has always excited her and one that she dreamed of joining far before she met Eric. But it's not a choice that has to be justified by her in order to have value; it's okay to make that sacrifice solely out of love. In fact, it's commendable.

At the end of the day, this is a story that ends in marriage, and that marriage dynamic is key to understanding the story. Someone will always be making a bigger sacrifice at any given point in a marriage. In a healthy marriage both people will want to sacrifice for the other, but it's not a one for one kind of thing. Marriages aren't about equal cost but equal gain. And what they're gaining is a life together, a life that would be impossible without at least one of them giving up their home to find a new one, and a life that will require many more sacrifices from them both over its course.

So let's embrace Ariel and Eric as an intercultural couple. Let's stop criticizing Ariel for not holding her life with an uncompromising grip but start celebrating her for taking who she is into a new context and loving sacrificially--not being afraid of change but trusting its blessing. Let's root for them as they navigate all the joys and hardships of marriage. And let's cry with Ariel as she misses home but rejoice with her as she discovers a new one.

After a lifetime hearing about what a bad role model Ariel is, this remake showed me something new: an Ariel that I want as a role model. So let's celebrate Ariel's heroism. Let's raise up Ariel and Eric as an intercultural relationship and look at their relationship dynamic in light of their cultures and their families. Let's acknowledge the sacrifice and appreciate the beauty it brings.

Let's celebrate them showing each other a foreign world and stepping into a new one together.

I've always liked Ariel and Eric's relationship, but seeing it now, seeing it as an intercultural relationship instead of as a teen girl's bad choices, it's become a beautiful picture of leaving and cleaving and loving well, and it's a picture I want to hold onto.

 

*I know this is a simplification of intercultural relationships and it can be much more complicated than this based on a lot of different factors.