Patient and Kind
Leah got a rotten deal. Instead of her father looking out for her, he looked out for his own prosperity. Because of this, Leah is subjected to a life of being loved less, of always falling short of her sister and of never having a husband who wanted her. No one is looking out for Leah.
Excpet God.
The Lord wanted her. And He provided for her.
God opened up Leah's womb because He saw her suffering. And in the names of Leah's children, we see the difference between finding our place in God versus in external circumstances or people.
Reuben means "behold, a son."
"Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction, for now my husband will love me" (Gen. 29:32).
Leah recognizes God's kindness and care for her, she knows him as El Roi, the God Who Sees Me, but His blessing and provision cast her eyes more resolutely on her desires.
Simeon sounds like the Hebrew word for "heard."
"Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also" (Gen. 29:33).
Leah's eyes are still focused on her circumstance, but again, she recognizes God's care. This changes with her third child; her eyes are too fixed on her husband's reaction to acknowledge God's blessing. Instead of praising the Provider, she looks to the provision to fix her situation.
Levi sounds like the Hebrew word for "attached."
"Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons (Gen. 29:34).
As the chapter comes to a close, however, Leah learns her lesson. She learns to praise God instead of trying to control her circumstances. Jacob doesn't even appear in Judah's name.
Judah sounds like the Hebrew word for "praise."
"This time I will praise the Lord" (Gen. 29:35).
This is where I tend to end the story. Leah's grown as a person. She's learned to praise God and glorify Him for His provision even when her circumstances don't change. She stops looking at His gifts as a means to her own end. Instead of relying on God to meet her superficial need for children--a need which when provided, allowed her to falsely rely on herself and her circumstance for satisfying her deeper need for love--she allowed Him to meet the deeper desire and longing of her heart. She drew into relationship with God.
This is huge progress. And with that progress, she stops bearing children and the chapter closes.
. . . But then the story picks back up in chapter 30 with Rachel having children. Out of her comparison and jealousy, Rachel successfully attempts to have children through her servant. Leah responds by trying to outdo her sister through her servant Zilpah, getting caught up in the competition above all else.
Zilpah has two children, Gad and Asher.
Gad--"Good fortune has come" (Gen. 30:11)!
Asher--"Happy am I! For women have called me happy" (Gen. 30:13).
Then Leah begins to conceive again.
Issachar--"God has given me my wages because I gave my servant to my husband" (Gen. 30:18).
Zebulun--"God has endowed me with a good endowment; now my husband will honor me, because have borne him six sons" (Gen. 30:20).
Leah's last son's name is much more reminiscent of her first three sons, even mimicking some of the language, than of her breakthrough. Yet again, she acknowledges God's blessing, but her eyes are cast on the earthly. Gad's name has only to do with fortune; Asher's refers to her community's estimation of her. Leah's last two children acknowledge God's role, yet Issachar's name is one of expectation and entitlement--Leah deserved the blessing because of her own actions--and Zebulun's name passes over God's provision to fixate yet again on Jacob's reaction.
Leah's chosen names for her children reflect her longing and pain in her relationship with Jacob. She's unloved and she knows it. Though she recognizes God's grace and blessing, the function of the blessing is to gain Jacob's love. That is her ultimate desire, and she wields every blessing in service of that end.
But the outcome she's trying to control never comes to fruition and so she finally grows, taking her eyes off her husband and embracing the gift of another child without distraction or expectation but with praise. Her worth, her joy, her lovability do not come from her relationship to her husband and cannot be won with children, but rather, they are found within God.
What I remember of this story is Leah.
Leah looking for her value in the wrong place, striving for her husband's love, searching for her value in him, fixating on her status to him.
Leah letting her eyes fill with God completely. Realizing that she will never be satisfied with lesser things. That changed circumstances are not enough to relieve our suffering. Acknowledging that her earthly pain is real and has cultural and emotional weight, but knowing that she can never find in him what is solely found in God.
Leah falling into competitiveness and old patterns of striving to earn her place through her children.
Leah needing to learn the lesson again.
But Leah is not the main character of the story, and God's character is on display through the birth of her children.
God joins us in our pain. He sees us in our suffering. He is faithful to provide. And He is gracious to wait and to teach and to pursue.
At no point does God rescind His blessing because Leah responds to it poorly. Even after He's patiently waited for her to learn her lesson only for her to backtrack.
We don't know if Leah rediscovers this lesson, but we know that God is with her in every day and season. No matter how her heart changes.
How often are we in that same place?
Looking for our worth, our rest, our joy in lesser places? Relearning the same lessons over and over again? Rejoicing in our found freedom only to resort back to our former selves as time passes?
And yet, God continues to pursue us.
He redirects our hearts, breaks down our idolatry, and faithfully teaches us over and over again.
He never tires of meeting us with truth.
He never gives up on us.
He's constantly teaching, convicting, reteaching, and reconvicting.
He fights for us and for our relationship with Him, and He will always be there to teach us again, to draw us back, to guide our return.
So we need never give up when the same lesson swings back around; He won't. We need never give into striving because we can rely on Him. Instead of condemning ourselves or becoming discouraged, we can look to Him for our freedom, our hope, our growth.
We are secure.
He is patient and kind.
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